Warning! Do Not Read This Story!

Reader beware! This story has a warning in the title for a reason. Dare to ignore it, and you'll be sorry. You might find it sticks in your head in ways you won't like, making you do things you'll regret. One thing's for sure: it will change your life for the worse if you let it. Do yourself a favor and pass this one by; save your money for the latest harmless trifle that you won't lose any sleep over. If you're foolhardy enough to read this anyway, you'll have no one to blame but yourself for what happens to you. An unhappy ending is guaranteed...though rumor has it that a pair of would-be mystic problem solvers might have forced their way in and neutered this sick saga. Is it worth risking everything to read it and find out? Only if the height of stupidity is your middle name! Because if you get inside, and the story isn't neutered after all, it'll be too late to save your sorry butt. So consider yourself warned! They call this a "dark fantasy," but it's way too real and much too dark for any "fantasy!" So be smart and do not read this story! Get out while you still can! And if you decide to read it anyway, good luck! You're making the biggest mistake of your life.

Contents
Story plus novel preview

Reviews

"Robert Jeschonek is the literary love child of Tim Burton and Neil Gaimanhis fiction is cutting edge, original, and pulsing with dark and fantastical life." Adrian Phoenix, critically acclaimed author of The Maker's Song series and Black Dust Mambo

"Robert Jeschonek is a towering talent." Mike Resnick, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author

"Jeschoneks stories are delightfully insane, a pleasure to read" Fabio Fernandes, Fantasy Book Critic

About the Author

Robert T. Jeschonek is an award-winning writer whose fiction, comics, essays, articles, and podcasts have been published around the world. His young adult urban fantasy novel, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, won the Forward National Literature Award and was named one of Booklist's Top Ten First Novels for Youth. Simon & Schuster, DAW/Penguin Books, and DC Comics have published his work. He won the grand prize in Pocket Books' nationwide Strange New Worlds contest and was nominated for the British Fantasy Award.

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