And If I Don't

"When you get married..."

If these words are familiar to you, then you've likely grown up on the same planet that I have. Or at least in a community where marriage is celebrated, looked forward to and talked about. As it should be.

But the crux of many painful stories is found in the space between when and waiting. We find ourselves stuck in cycles of broken hearts, unfulfilled dreams, and expectations for something that was never intended to be a burden. Marriage is a gift, not a script to be followed.

And while we see in Scripture the beautiful ways that marriage points to the love of Jesus for his Bride, a life lived outside of marriage can still embrace commitment, sacrifice, and love. So, if the best projection of a life well lived is marked by whatever follows 'when you get married...' then how can we answer the question I've long asked myself: "And if I don't?"

In her book, And If I Don't: Reimagining the Single Life, April Klassen walks outlines a biblical understanding of singleness within an evangelical framework. This non-fiction work is inspired by the author's own experiences with expectations of singleness and marriage in the contemporary church. The book describes the overlooked benefits of singleness in the church community. Ultimately, it advocates for Christians of all relationship statuses to pursue Christ wholeheartedly.

If you or someone close to you has struggled with their relationship status, finds themselves suddenly single, or if simply want to reorient their current relationship around Christ, then this book is a must-read.

Review Quotes

"I wish there wasn't a need to write this book. But there is. Too often, we forget that being a mature follower of Jesus does not require that we be married. As April so eloquently describes through stories from her life and scripture, singleness is not second best to marriage. Single life can be complete life. Single life can be full life. And single life can be the Jesus life. If you have ever wrestled with singleness, either your own or someone else's, read this book."

- Mark Wessner, President, Mennonite Brethren Seminary

"Throughout my years of walking in singleness, I have never read a book like And If I Don't? that gives so much hope, resonates so deeply with my heart struggles, and offers such powerful keys to living a joyful, rich, satisfying life while single. Jesus is the goal, not marriage! He has a life of abundance and fullness for us right now! I believe God wants to use this book to help unlock more freedom, healing, fullness, and joy in the state of life we find ourselves in. God truly is good and has good plans for our singleness."

- Amber Griffioen, Youth Worker, Cyress Center

"It's a rare gift to be able to make someone-even strangers or those on the margins of society-feel welcomed, loved, and a part of a caring community. Despite the challenges of being a single Christian female in her 30's, April has found a way to do this with grace and epitomizes how faith in action is truly lived out. Single, married, no matter your status, April shares what's important (and what's not) when on a journey in response to the Lord's unique calling on your life. April lives with conviction and hope, and gives of herself generously for the glory of God."

- Shawn Plummer, President, Food For the Hungry, Canada

"And If I Don't has a vital and life-giving message that people, especially in the body of Christ, need to hear and apply. This book is rich with practical wisdom that demonstrates how to relate to and live out the single life with joy. I believe readers will be awakened, challenged, celebrated and invited to reimagine the single life through this book."

- Dor