Contents: Introduction; Mermaids; Let's Beat the Shit Out of Herman Rosko!; Why Ravens Smile to Little Old Ladies as they Walk By; the uranium leaking from port radium and rayrock mines is killing us; The Night Charles Bukowski Died; Sky Burial; Snow White Nothing for Miles; My Fifth Step; How I Saved Christmas; Mermaids, Illustrated; Hickey Gone Wrong, Illustrated; Afterwords; Acknowledgements