It takes a very special kind of person to voluntarily manipulate another human being, mentally, physically and emotionally. It takes a special kind of person to' let' these things happen, and hand them over to the person in control, giving them heart, body, and soul to do what they want to do. Acting as a Dominant is never in the purview of a dictator, nor is the submissive a shrinking violet, fearful of his own shadow. Certainly, Dom / mes may be aggressive, and submissive may be shy or reserved, but nothing is ever written in stone.
Another thing you need to understand is that when you take on the role of a Dom / me and your submissive needs you to do things to him or her that you might not do otherwise, it's all an act. You play a role here. Pain and joy go hand in hand here, but always on the terms you all set. Spanking his or her backside, leaving bite marks, wearing clothes pins, playing with whips, tying up your partner (or being tied up, if you're a switch), all of these things are part of the role. Causing pain to bring pleasure, though, is a tricky line.
A lot more people are doing BDSM now than before. The surprising fact is that you may already be engaging in BDSM as part of your personal life without knowing it. Unlike back in the day when BDSM was viewed negatively, many people are starting to realize the positive aspects of this lifestyle. It's easy to attach negative and grim connotations of BDSM when you first see a lifestyle in films, videos or newspapers, but when you know that it's not what it seems to be, you're going to start seeing it quite favorably.