We had come so far from when we first met.
She would shy away from me, from my touch.
I didn't know why then. Was she shy? Nervous around men?
Not comfortable with strangers? Now I knew it was all of the above.
And who could blame her after Charles? To Phoenix every man was a Charles.
Her husband, Charles, both mentally and physically abused her.
With his death, Phoenix Swartz, now Phoenix Westerling, could finally heal
and start blooming. Her bud had been held too tightly for so long, but she had
begun to open.
Soon she would blossom and I would be there to see that.
There would be so many issues that we will have to work through now that
our marriage has begun.
I also knew Phoenix was broken and skittish, even to me.
I try not to show the hurt I feel when she looks at me as if I were Charles.
Sometimes when she thinks I am not looking at her I see her watching me.
I know she sees Charles when she looks at me, but I have to show her John.
I am her husband now and the care and devotion I have for her will win her to me.