"I was fine until I opened the door, and then it all caught up with me again, standing there in the cool darkness of my own hall. All the jetlag and bodily unease that the brightness of the day had kept at bay, for one, but worse, all the doubt and confusion that three weeks of hard work had driven to the darkest corners of my mind. That flooded back on the sound of Vane's laughter, and the soft, warm, familiar tones of Carter's voice. They were my best friends, my business partners, my housemates, and their happiness hit me like a wall. I'd thought a long trip would clear my head, and the tonic had seemed to work, but now the hard reality of it was all the worse ..."