Giving Love A Chance: The Secrets To Men, Women & Relationships

I was 29 years old and quickly approaching thirty. For many men, this is the prime time to party, enjoy the single life and indulge in as much sexual activity as possible. These men plan to Â" settle down sometime between their late thirties and early forties, so it seems logical to them that they should sow their wild oats as many oats as possible until they settle down. To me that logic was debatable. My grandmother always expressed to me that the older a tree gets, the harder it is to bend with each blowing wind. That proverb made more sense to me than the logic of my cohort, especially because it was coming from a woman who has been happily married for 60 years! I believe that the older one gets, the more difficult it becomes to compromise in a relationship, especially when the two people are not growing together. I have been in and out of relationships since I was 15 years old. Even at that young age, I instinctively knew what a good woman was. But I always chose women who were challenges. Although my heart sensed that these particular women were disagreeable to my well being, the hunter/conqueror in me would still push me to aggressively pursue any woman that posed a challenge. I knew that this mindset would plague me for the rest of my dating life if I didn't take corrective action. I eventually discovered that I wasn't alone in practicing these counterproductive habits. It was a pleasant surprise to learn that I wasn't alone. Many of my friends were guilty of the same actions. So I decided to do some research. I found 20 men and 20 women who had never met each other, and I invited them to my place to engage in some real and honest dialogue about the opposite sex. I asked everyone to leave their representatives at home and prepare to be truthful, candid and revealing about their own gender. These continued discussions, which were aimed at unlocking the secrets of the opposite sex's mindset, would prove to be life changing for me and for everyone who attended those gatherings. It seems to me that most people fear relationships that are naturally good for/to them. Oftentimes, they shun that agreeable relationship and gravitate toward the opposite one. To them, success is determined by their repeated attempts at defying nature to make bad relationships work. I knew this all too well, so I decided to make myself a promise. The promise was that I would remove myself from this vicious cycle and embrace what's good for me. I would learn to fear eminent failure not eminent success. In addition, I would look within myself to transform the bad into good, and the good into greatness! My grandmother always said, When you point the finger at someone, four of those fingers are pointing back at you! I interpreted that to mean that taking self-inventory is a necessary first-step toward positive growth. For the first time since I was fifteen, I wasn't in a relationship. Instead, I was on a journey to find the answers to the questions that we all have about love. I was giving love a break by discovering what love really was.

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