As if the irritating regulations and red tape that dogged my daily life was not enough, it proved to be as nothing compared to the bureaucracy I encountered when I unexpectedly found myself at the threshold of The Pearly Gates. Subject to endless identity checks and indecision by the guardians of the heavenly host, I was forced to appeal to the highest holy authority, but a fat lot of good that did me. A cautionary tale of an afterlife blighted by officiousness, spelling mistakes, endless paperwork and procedural pernicketies.