Hey! What The Hell's Going On Out There!!??

My Freshman English Professor at Springfield College assigned our class a Research Paper on whatever subject we chose. I forget what I chose, but that's not the point. In High School, our school Librarian rudely turned me off to a "Library's" inherently wondrous opportunities for some extraordinary charismatic thoughts and excitement. I was a Football Player, so I was a dumb , well you know. For this Librarian, it was like he was the Police Inspector in Les Miserables spotting John Valjean at Bookrack #2! Swat Teams move into action slower than this guy, as at once he was beside me, - confronting me with a look that he seemed to have borrowed from Bette Davis in the movie Jezebel. "What are you doing here? What do you want?" he asked. I responded that I was just looking around, and he responded with emphatic and impudent disgust, "I don't think you belong here!" OK, and so I left, never to return. Well, anyway, back to my Research Paper. It was a conundrum for me, for as we now know, I didn't do libraries! So I wrote what I thought was a pretty decent paper, sans the Research. Doc Hesselbarth then wrote on the top of my paper, "Excellent! F". He also had a variety of stamps he would use at times for effect: Stamps like "Absurdity", "Garbage", or simply "We need to talk, soon!" I was blessed during that year with a Variety Pack of those Stamps on my various papers, and I do still have those papers in my College File. Whatever, I went to see the Doc to ask him what was up with this Excellent F? Nice paper he said, "But you didn't give me what I asked for!" He had me there, but still, he reached over, crossed out the F, and entered in a D. "A gift from me to you", he said. I was ecstatic! Anyway, this book is for you, Doc Hesselbarth, to honor your courageous attempt to enhance the mind and soul of this one time academic neophyte. And please know Doc, wherever you are, that after this effort, "Research" is my Middle Name! Hey, and I have even challenged my readers to do their own research, basically saying, "You don't believe me? Fine. Look it up yourself!" I can't really tell if you might like this collection of ideas and expositions, but I will tell you that I had a great time writing it, and that all material was well researched from the written words of more minds than I can count, as well as from more personal experiences than "Carter's Got Pills!" Now if you do read it, and say, "Hey! This guy's nuts!" Then please, write your own book! YES! PS: I eventually grew to really love libraries!

Dettagli