Experiencing the loss of a spouse is devastating and not surprisingly can cause many to experience profound depression. Grief is messy, sad, unpredictable, awkward and complicated. To experience some or all of these things in the grief process is completely normal. You can, however, still have a good or even great life.
(Excerpt)
"Then, it happened. My first public encounter having to explain why Luther is not here. Seven words never had so much impact on me. The bee man asked, "Do you want to call your husband?" And there it is. I feel flushed and sick to my stomach. Tears well up in my eyes and begin to start rolling down my cheeks. The bee man's eyes grow large with concern or maybe it was fear, I'm not sure. Now though, I'm blubbering about how my husband just died and I don't know who to talk to about this. I think, No, I'm pretty sure I am not making a complete coherent sentence. At some point I stop blubbering. There was a slight pause before the bee man spoke again. I think he was waiting to see if I was done."