More Golfing Adventures with Frankie, the Witty Caddie

Frankie, the witty caddie, bellowed to no one in particular, ¿Isn¿t anyone going to get a caddie today?¿ Miraculously, within a few moments, Red, the caddie master, came shuffling over to the caddie shed, as if Frankie¿s sad refrain was heard, telling Frankie and Ozzie that he needed two caddies. Ozzie quickly said to Frankie, ¿You do have a big mouth, but I think it came in handy this time,¿ delighting the now cheerful Frankie. When Red introduced Frankie and Ozzie to the foursome of Bernie, Teddy, Howard and Raymond on the putting green, Frankie immediately noted something quite odd. Bernie seemed to be putting on the practice green with his ¿Driver¿ or the number ¿1¿ wood normally used to tee off from the tee ground. It turned out to be a plastic replica of a club. How odd! Frankie, nonplussed, realized Bernie was a character, perhaps a caricature of a comic figure, and life on the golf course with him would be a blast, even unusual, and it was. When Frankie inquired if this foursome played ¿winter rules,¿ allowing players to move their ball on the course for a better lie, Bernie, laughing, said, ¿We play very strict frozen, snowy, arctic tundra, that is, very cold, `winter rules.¿ Every ball should be moved to improve the next shot, and if a ball is lost, it was because an animal stole it, or the deep snow swallowed it, even though the snow on this very hot and humid day is not very deep, really.¿ ¿I understand perfectly,¿ Frankie said with a sly wink, sharing these words of wisdom from Bernie with Ozzie, and off they went to see the imaginary snow, and the less than frozen turf, with the mythical golf ball stealing animals on a day made perfectly for the Lance brothers, Bernie and Teddy, as well as Howard, and Raymond, or Ray.

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