The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity (2017) by sex and relationship expert Esther Perel is an examination of unfaithfulness in romantic relationshipswhat it is, why it happens, and how different cultures handle itas well as an exploration of what affairs can teach all lovers about healthy relationships. Perel takes a non-judgmental approach to the motivations of the cheater and the outside lover, as well as to the contributions of the betrayed partner to the relationship crisis..