You're no idiot, of course. You can find Greece on a map, know that Kevin Sorbo stars as Hercules on TV, and have heard of Freud's Oedipus theory. But when it comes to classical mythology, you feel like you've been foiled by the gods.
Don't curse Zeus yet!
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Classical Mythology has all you need for a working knowledge of the timeless world of Greek and Roman myths.