The First Attitude: Part Two of Three

In Part 2, after the stress of the crisis with the command staff of the military base, Chet is hoping for some quiet time with Ilena, but she can't seem to believe she's worthy of his job title. When he disappears into the forest twice for several days and Regit won't initially help her look for him, Ilena finally realizes that her relationship is with Chet as a person, not a title.

A peek inside:

. . . she tightly hugs him for a little while then asks, "Chet, I don't want to push you, but I would like to know what your thoughts are in regards to my interest in being with you for the rest of your life."

He seems to slightly stiffen in surprise then hugs her a little more snugly and begins to lightly caress her back. He still hesitates somewhat longer before he verbally responds, "I'm afraid my thoughts are somewhat contradictory which makes it difficult for me to provide you with a clear and coherent response."

Since that puzzles her, she asks, "Contradictory?"

"Yes. First of all, I very much treasure the thought that you are interested in spending your life with me. At the same time, I'm greatly concerned that you don't have sufficient facts or life experience to make such a commitment. Actually, I'm not sure anyone who makes such a commitment really understands enough about either themselves or the other person to be able to make that kind of a commitment with a completely clear conscious or without unspoken expectations.

"Another major factor is that I don't believe I'm good enough for you to spend your time with me. You're an intelligent, caring, and lovely young lady who deserves someone much better than me. And I certainly don't want you to feel obligated to stay with me when you meet someone who is more appropriate for you and who will help you to be all you can or want to be.

"I know I'm not being very logical and probably not even very clear, but . . . while I don't want to push you away, I also don't want to get in your way of doing what is best for you now and in the future. . . . I guess that means I'm straddling a fence and while I know that sitting on a fence isn't comfortable, I guess I'm afraid of the probable consequences if I lean in either direction."

Before she can respond, the tea kettle whistles so they fix their tea then go to the table to sit and sip their tea.

She takes a few moments to gather her thoughts then says, "From some of your past statements and from what you just said, although somewhat indirectly, you do want to selfishly spend time with me and that thrills me. At the same time, you're making the effort to set aside your selfish interests in the attempt to be more concerned about my interests and my future and I interpret that to mean you greatly care about me which makes me feel very grateful to you.

"In regards to your statement that you don't believe you're good enough for me, well, I don't want to say your feelings are of no value, but I also have to disagree with you. I couldn't ask for a better human friend than you. You've always treated me gently and with great respect which is very clearly demonstrated every time you touch me without taking advantage of me. I've overheard enough of the other females in the community talk about their male friends and they seldom receive the level of respect or concern which you always give me."

He drinks a little tea before he responds, "Thank you for believing that I treat you with respect. I certainly don't mean to make it sound like I'm trying to reduce what that may mean to you, but from my perspective, I'm treating you how I think any lady needs to be treated, or even any person."

"I know that's what you believe and I've seen you demonstrate that with everyone around you, at least until they push you beyond anyone's endurance. You even treat the Floaters with that level of respect when most people would probably have a hard time even considering them to be an

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