The Soul Mate Illusion

This is a psychological non-fiction book teaching some ideas about true love and real intimacy. True love requires both Truth as well as Love, Love as well as Truth. Real love requires both Love and Reality knowing the real other person, not a fantasy of who we want them to be, or imagine them to be, when we are first falling in love.
The book teaches us to identify some of the illusions about love which we usually fail to see when we are falling in love (or as the author put it, in and as the title of his previous book, Falling For Love). But it has many ideas too relevant to long-term intimate partnerships.
Thus I ask the readers to confront things like:
our own narcissism when falling in (or for) love;
our need for an over-special uniqueness in their partner;
our need for our connection to be magical (and thus so spontaneous and easy that no conflict should occur, or if it does, that it gets magically resolved);
our need for all our life's problems to be healed "by the method" of falling in love
and so on . . .
It is based on psychological ideas derived from both psychoanalytic and humanistic traditions and tries to explain that often there are regressive elements in our falling for love. That is to say, there is some recreation of our early mother-child bonding, that creates either a need to recreate such a perfect blissful bond if we sometimes had one, or to find a new perfect blissful bond which heals an imperfect mother-child bond from a difficult past.
The previous book, Falling for Love, is possibly more suited to people studying psychology, as it is richer in psychological ideas.
I wish you love.
Aron Gersh M.A.
(I have been a psychotherapist in practice in London, and then, as editor, ran the UK's no.1 alternative psychology magazine, Human Potential, for 7 years. I have had a lifetime in psychology)

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