I initially read "Through the Eyes of an Addict" chapter by chapter as it was being written, soon after deciding to befriend Sean at the start of his recovery journey. Re-reading it now, 12 years later, with the complete prologue, epilogues, and a touching eulogy by his family, fills me with both sadness and inspiration. The book vividly portrays the devastation and misery addiction brings, whether one considers themselves an accomplice to or a victim of the disease. Sean's experience with addiction is harrowing, and his book offers a thrilling, dark, and frightening insight into the mind of an active addict. It captures the contradictions of insanity and lucidity, pride and humility, selfishness and compassion, and the struggle between wanting to be sober and wanting to use and die.
Through the pages, it becomes clear that Sean eventually realized recovery was possible despite the chaos, utilizing the daily reprieve offered by recovery programs effectively during the final twelve years of his life. By the end, he transformed into a good friend, father, son, brother, and a compassionate helper to many in recovery. Sean's humility, intellect, wit, and incredible self-awareness shine through in his writing. Despite the potential for material wealth, he chose to dedicate his life to helping others in a low-paying profession and being the best father he could be.
This book is a valuable resource for addicts, those seeking recovery, and their loved ones, as it illustrates the insanity of addiction and the persistent struggle to do good while repeatedly making the same mistakes. It shows how one can intellectually understand addiction yet still be unable to stop without help. Sean's life demonstrates that recovery is possible, no matter how low one has sunk, as detailed in the final chapters about his first year of sobriety. Though Sean did relapse at times, his recovery, as evidenced by his relationships with his son, family, friends, co-workers, and clients, outweighs the anguish caused by relapses.
Re-reading his book reminds me of Sean's unconditional friendship. Recovery is not a war to be won but a series of battles within oneself that can be won with support and love. Sean's legacy, through this book, is to share his experience, strength, and hope.